Super Tall, Funny Male Looking for Gullible Female

“This girl I know” is always complaining about the hot messes on various dating websites. In particular, she really hates:

1. Guys who post shirtless selfies. If my friend—OK, OK, it’s me—sees one more picture taken through the reflection of a bathroom mirror, I’m going to lose it. If you really want to shamelessly impress me, upload a picture of your credit history, not your chest. I don’t care how many abs you have, I care about how many times you’ve missed paying rent.

2. Guys who say they’re “really funny,” yet nothing about their profile is funny. If we’re going by that “if you say it, it’s true” logic, then I’m “good at math” and “built like a supermodel.”

3. Guys who are 5’10”. Then you meet in person and realize they’re 5’8”—on a good day. I’m not saying I wouldn’t date someone who wasn’t tall, but I’d like to have a little warning first. I don’t want to shove my 5’7” self into a pair of heels and then spend the entire first date looking down on you—both literally and figuratively. Jessie Spano knows what’s up.

Ideally, these websites would do something about these online dating atrocities. The shirtless selfie men would have clothes photoshopped onto their bodies. The humorless guys would have profiles marked “liar.” The shorties would have a step-stool widget next to their names.

Help a gal out, will ya?

But online dating isn’t the only arena where games are played. At the end of September, the apartment industry joked internally about the changes (punishments) coming to Craigslist users. Many have violated the Craigslist Terms of Service for years—posting too often, using posting tools, regurgitating the same contents, linking to external contact forms—and now we’re all paying the price. I wish the same could be said for all those “funny” guys. 

Among the changes resulting from the massive Craigslist hand slapping, you can no longer post live links to your website or external forms. You can include a link but you won’t be able to click on it. 

Mr. Craig has also snatched away the ability to include fancy HTML code, which could previously transform your post into something beautiful. And let’s add to the list the ability to embed any tracking code into an ad. Say goodbye—it’s gone!

While Santa is handing out presents, Ebenezer Craigslist Scrooge is doling out lumps of coal. A lot of naughty, not so much nice. 

But need not despair—there are still some things apartment marketers can do to make the new Craigslist rules work. Try using short, creative headlines, write good content, show your best photos first and ask which ad a prospect saw.

It may be a tough pill to swallow, but so is towering over your date.

For more, check out "Craigslist's ChangesWhat to Do?" in the December issue of units Magazine.