Oh No She DIDN'T!

Two years ago, my friends and I had the pleasure of renting a house in Ireland from a 20-something ex-rugby player named Ted.

At the risk of sounding like 1950’s teenager, Ted was dreamy. His accent was to-die-for, he had shoulders as broad as a Buick, and his teeth were both white and straight—a real rarity in the U.K.

One day Ted came over to mow our lawn. After watching him—and more specifically, his forearms—push around the mower for a few minutes, I decided I should probably get a few pictures of him for the ol’scrapbook. And by scrapbook, I mean Facebook.

With my one friend laughing and the other horrified, I stood ever-so-discreetly in front of the giant window in the back bedroom and snapped away. Ted was very photogenic and I had to get every angle. Unfortunately, the final angle ended up being Ted staring directly at me, mid-photoshoot.

For the remainder of our stay in Ireland, Ted’s 65-year-old father came to mow the lawn. Message received.

Ted may not have appreciated his moment in the spotlight, but for those working in the apartment industry, residents have done far worse. In the March issue of units, Community Manager Jessica Kennard recalls 12 of the most shocking things residents have ever done. Following are three:

1) Service Request “Dress Code.” On more than one occasion, maintenance technicians at Kennard’s property have entered a unit for a service request, only to find the resident wearing little or no clothing. Kennard’s staff asks if they should come back later, but the residents seem to have no problem with their wardrobe—or lack thereof.

I once embellished a plumbing problem while studying abroad in England just so our hot British handyman, Neil, could make a little house visit, but I was completely clothed. Despite what you may think, I do have a little self-respect.

2) Staged a Break-In. Kennard once had a resident stage a robbery just to get out of his lease. The resident lived on the second floor, but broke his own patio door, shattering glass everywhere. He had already moved his belongings out, but claimed that the “burglars took everything, including my dishes!”

I can’t even imagine what I would say to my community manager if I staged a robbery. “The burglars took everything, even my 66-count box of pudding cups! Oddly enough, they did leave some expired milk.”

3) Not So Fast Get Away. Kennard had a father and teenage son who shared an apartment and bickered constantly. One day the son was grounded and wanted to get out of the apartment so badly that he jumped through his second story window.

When I got angry at my parents—whenever they forbid me from watching Dawson’s Creek—I would just revert to crying uncontrollably. Had I dangled out of my bedroom window with a sign that read “Dawson or Dive,” perhaps they would have taken me more seriously.

For more shocking resident stories, check out the March issue of units, which mails March 8. If you have any stories of your own, send them to Lauren@naahq.org.