Writing about your friends and family, it turns out, is a tricky thing.
When I started doing my weekly blog for APTly Spoken, I wanted to create material that was fresh and funny—something that really pushed the envelope. Unfortunately, I’ve pushed a little too hard.
Last week my mom and dad finally printed out all of my blogs and settled in for an afternoon of light reading. The trouble is they didn’t find them very funny.
I will give you a rundown of their qualms in a minute, but first I would just like to say that although it has been an absolute pleasure contributing to this blog every week, in the interest of keeping my parents from never speaking to me again, I’ve decided it’s probably best that I remorsefully hang up my blogging hat for good.
To everyone who has read my blog each week, thank you! It’s been such a blast trying to make you laugh.
But, back to the task at hand. Following are a few excerpts you may remember from some of my previous blogs—all of which happen to mention my friends or family. At my parents’ request, I’ve also included further explanation (or an apology) for each statement:
1. “My 21-year-old brother used to argue that his bedroom felt more “cozy” and “lived-in” when it was an absolute mess.” - 2/3/11
Just because Chris preferred to leave his room messy doesn’t mean that my mom allowed him to do so. Our house was always very neat and clean, his room being no exception.
2. “I always loved swimming in my grandma’s pool in Maryland, but the water was absolutely freezing.” - 3/24/11
The reason my Grandma’s pool was so cold, I should have said, was because she was very sensitive to the sun and had to plant a giant tree next to the pool to provide the necessary amount of shade. It wasn’t because she enjoyed watching me suffer.
3. “My mother is about as computer-savvy as the Amish.” - 9/9/10
Obviously this is an exaggeration. The fact that my mother has so much as touched a mouse automatically makes her more savvy than the Amish and she can definitely navigate the Web without a problem. Clearly, since she found my blogs.
4. “My roommate is about as indecisive as they come. She once spent 45 minutes in the school supplies aisle at Walmart fretting over the purchase of a Day Planner as if she were deciding whether or not to join the Peace Corps.” - 8/19/10
It was wrong of me to make fun of Steph’s inability to make a decision. It may take her four hours to pick out a pair of socks in the morning, but she decided she didn’t like this blog post pretty darn quick.
5. “My dad refused to get Internet service until 2002.” - 12/9/10
This is actually 100 percent true, so I’m not going to apologize for this.
Anyway, I think I’ve made my point. These blog posts were all in good fun, but it’s not worth it if I’ve hurt my friends’ and family’s feelings.
Mom and Dad, hopefully you liked this post!
Faithful readers….APRIL FOOLS!