APTly Spoken Blog

  • Square Footage Was So Last Year

    The other day—a Friday night, to be exact—my roommate said she didn’t understand why we never met single guys. “I really don’t get it,” I said to her, sitting on the couch in an oversized t-shirt, scrolling through the TV’s On Demand menu so I could watch Maria Menounos and Derek Hough’s rumba (for the third time) on “Dancing With the Stars.” “Hey, do you mind if I open a can of tuna?” It had the...
  • Making Your Community The Happiest Place on Earth

    A few weeks before my 12th birthday, my Uncle Mark called me. “If you could go anywhere in the world for your birthday, where would it be?” he asked. “Hawaii!” “Uhh…pick another place.” I thought for a second before the obvious came to mind—Disney World! “Guess what,” Uncle Mark said, “we’re going.” I knew he was lying and I told him so, but he insisted the trip was happening. The more...
  • Don’t Choke When It Matters Most

    My mother has a history of ordering the one bad meal on the menu whenever we go to a restaurant. This combined with her propensity for choking—typically on a particularly sharp shell found in her crab soup, gristle in her cheeseburger or a small but debilitating bone in her fish—always makes for a memorable evening out. We’ve had a lot of experience with this, but one instance stands out due to...
  • Don't You Forget About Me

    Yesterday I went into the community clubhouse to renew my lease for yet another year—partly because I like my apartment, but also because I’m far too lazy to clean out my car, let alone pack everything up and move. As I was sitting there waiting to sign the papers and eating a caramel chew that I swiped from the communal candy dish, I overheard a young couple rattling off a list of complaints to...

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