APTly Spoken Blog

  • Liar, Liar

    In fifth grade I failed a math test. I was the girl who got straight A’s, never talked and spent the first day of summer vacation helping the librarian organize her book shelves, so for me, this minor hiccup felt like an absolute disaster.   I had to get my parents to sign the test, but I was too afraid to show it to them so I forged my mom’s signature. I thought I had done a convincing job—even...
  • Square Footage Was So Last Year

    The other day—a Friday night, to be exact—my roommate said she didn’t understand why we never met single guys. “I really don’t get it,” I said to her, sitting on the couch in an oversized t-shirt, scrolling through the TV’s On Demand menu so I could watch Maria Menounos and Derek Hough’s rumba (for the third time) on “Dancing With the Stars.” “Hey, do you mind if I open a can of tuna?” It had the...
  • Making Your Community The Happiest Place on Earth

    A few weeks before my 12th birthday, my Uncle Mark called me. “If you could go anywhere in the world for your birthday, where would it be?” he asked. “Hawaii!” “Uhh…pick another place.” I thought for a second before the obvious came to mind—Disney World! “Guess what,” Uncle Mark said, “we’re going.” I knew he was lying and I told him so, but he insisted the trip was happening. The more...
  • Don’t Choke When It Matters Most

    My mother has a history of ordering the one bad meal on the menu whenever we go to a restaurant. This combined with her propensity for choking—typically on a particularly sharp shell found in her crab soup, gristle in her cheeseburger or a small but debilitating bone in her fish—always makes for a memorable evening out. We’ve had a lot of experience with this, but one instance stands out due to...

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