APTly Spoken Blog

  • Daydream Believer

    I had many childhood dreams. One was to fall in love at a sleep-away summer camp. I used to be fixated on the idea of spending two months on a lake somewhere in Maine doing arts and crafts, water-skiing to my heart’s content and having a respectable summer fling with a 14-year-old boy most likely named Ethan or Cory. We would bond over our shared love of water sports, spend the summer flirting...
  • Child, Please

    I’ve noticed a few things in my 27th year. Namely, that I’m getting old. Now, before you start rolling your (deteriorating) eyes in a “child, please” manner, let me explain. I understand that 27—in the scheme of one’s entire life—is still very young. But I also understand that this is around the time where it’s starts to feel kind of cool to play the adult card.  When I was 25, I felt the need to...
  • Even Tough Guys Like Trophies

    My mom has a habit of trying to surprise me with good news by leaving voicemails that sound anything but. “Lauren, call me when you get this” is a personal favorite. She left that voicemail a few years ago, her tone foreboding. Now, if I were a TV daughter, I would have been Full House’s D.J. Tanner—damn near perfect (minus the time she accidentally fell asleep on her boyfriend’s shoulder)—yet I...
  • Oh Hair No!

    It’s always awkward when someone gets a haircut. It seems rude not to acknowledge it, so you have to start by asking the obvious: “Hey, did you get a haircut?!” When they say yes, there’s only one appropriate response: “It looks great!” It could be the ugliest haircut in the world—a mullet or a rat tail or a Kate Gosselin—but you certainly can’t say so.  You may even find said haircut socially...

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