APTly Spoken Blog

  • One Flew Over the Crazy Ant's Nest

    “Son of a b****, there are maggots!” I can still hear my mom yelling this when I was eight years old. She’d driven my younger brother and me to the gas station to vacuum our grey Oldsmobile, only to lift up the back seats and discover several white maggots, the sight of which produced instantaneous dry heaving.  Courtesy www.reactiongifs.com This was, of course, our fault. You can only drop so...
  • The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

    I once had an Amazon package stolen from in front of my apartment door. I’d ordered “The Snowy Day” and “Harold and the Purple Crayon” (only the two best books ever) for my boss’ baby shower, though as I stood there realizing they’d been snatched from under me, I related far more to “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.” Still, I have to think the joke’s on them. There has...
  • Spring Is In The Air, Get Out Your Garden Chair

    My favorite time of year has finally come about. It can’t be said that rainy days are out of the picture, but the promise of sun puts a skip in the step of city routine. As those first rays hit the side of an apartment building, you want the foremost thought to be how long it will take to get to the beach; however, as property managers are aware, it’s hard to see through that window with all the...
  • May the Odds Be Ever in Your Favor

    There’s no doubt I would be the Peeta of the Hunger Games. I faint whenever I see blood, I have a fear of getting stung by a swarm of bees—let alone tracker jackers—after seeing “My Girl” and I would most definitely try to force a romantic moment with my crush while trapped in a cave together. How could you not?! I wish I were Katniss, with her awesome hair braid and killer archery skills and 2...

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