APTly Spoken Blog

  • Get Out of My Face(Time)

    I’m gonna be honest—I’m not a big fan of FaceTime. The thing is, I don’t really want people seeing my face when I’m speaking to them on the phone.  Look, it’s not like I’m making horrible, rude or disinterested faces as the person on the other end of the phone speaks. Rather, it’s that I may not be aware that I’m making horrible, rude or disinterested faces. You get the difference. Also, more...
  • Keep Calm and Stop With the Duck Face

    Here are some things I never need to see on Instagram ever again. Like, ever. 1. The meal your significant other cooked for you. As if I’m not already hyper-aware that I am standing over the kitchen sink, alone, eating a can of tuna—the only thing distinguishing me from a cat being that I am fully upright—now I have to see a filtered snapshot of the mushroom risotto your boo made. (It’s always...
  • “A” Is for “Are You Seriously Writing That”?

    “The Scarlet Letter” taught us all a thing or two. Namely, that members of the clergy also have desires. That, and the important lesson that one’s reputation can be quickly and irrevocably tarnished. If you’ve ever taken a gander at a high-school bathroom stall, you know as much to be true. Bless you, janitors.  According to Apartments.com’s James Watters, presenter of Feb. 26th’s Webinar...
  • Child, Please

    I’ve noticed a few things in my 27th year. Namely, that I’m getting old. Now, before you start rolling your (deteriorating) eyes in a “child, please” manner, let me explain. I understand that 27—in the scheme of one’s entire life—is still very young. But I also understand that this is around the time where it’s starts to feel kind of cool to play the adult card.  When I was 25, I felt the need to...

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