APTly Spoken Blog

  • All I Want For Christmas is Good Credit

    I traded in my identity for Mariah Carey’s 1994 Christmas album. After avoiding Target’s gravitational pull for a solid eight months, I made the fateful decision to step inside the retail vortex around mid-December. I just had to get my hands on “All I Want For Christmas Is You” in CD format.  Unfortunately, someone else had to get their hands on my credit card...
  • 13 Worst States To Be A Burglar

    It might seem hard to burgle an apartment—after all, you definitely know your neighbors. You might be able to hear them through that one wall you share. You've probably chatted by the mailboxes or gone to the holiday party in the lobby. When you live that close, you really know your building, and it's easy to spot someone who's not supposed to be there. Right?While you might have a...
  • Prepare Before the Crisis

    I woke up at 1 a.m. last week to the strobe light and alarm going off over my bed. After getting dressed and running down the stairs, I found the rest of the hotel guests gathered outside.As I continued to wake up, the fire marshal’s response vehicle arrived. In the distance I could see the flashing lights of two other fire trucks. The fire department looked ready to go as they leapt off...
  • Love Thy Neighbor...Well, Sometimes

    I’ve had some odd neighbors. In the four years that I’ve lived in my apartment, three have cycled through. The first family was very nice. Well, I assume they were nice—we never actually spoke. But they didn’t light our doormat on fire, so in my book, that’s nice. When they left, two 20-something frat guys moved in. They weren’t the brightest crayons in the...

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