APTly Spoken Blog

  • What Does the Silver Fox Say?

    I might block my uncle on Facebook.  He joined three weeks ago and has since commented on nearly every status I write. And we’re talking three- to four-sentence comments. On Thanksgiving, for example, I wrote, “I have a headache and I feel sick. Like ya do, Thanksgiving.” Minutes later and four ‘likes’ deep, my uncle wrote, “I don’t understand—are people ‘liking’ the fact that you have a headache...
  • Even Tough Guys Like Trophies

    My mom has a habit of trying to surprise me with good news by leaving voicemails that sound anything but. “Lauren, call me when you get this” is a personal favorite. She left that voicemail a few years ago, her tone foreboding. Now, if I were a TV daughter, I would have been Full House’s D.J. Tanner—damn near perfect (minus the time she accidentally fell asleep on her boyfriend’s shoulder)—yet I...
  • Remember (We Lost) the Alamo

    I made my first trip to Texas a few years ago. I was in Dallas for a conference and my roommate met me afterward for a little road trip.  After passing what seemed like 15 different dead animals on the side of the highway—I swear I saw an ocelot among the roadkill—Steph and I arrived in San Antonio. First order of business: margaritas and Mexican goods. We made our way to a tourist haven on the...
  • You’re Gonna Hear Me Roar

    Thanksgiving is the Jello salad in the cornucopia of holidays—straight up overlooked. As soon as Halloween is over, everyone is bombarded with Santas and Christmas trees and feelings of panic over personal finances and perpetual loneliness. Maize and belt-buckle shoes never get any respect! So before I succumb to the holiday madness and begin watching “While You Were Sleeping” on repeat—...

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