APTly Spoken Blog

  • Run, Run, As Fast As You Can

    When my brother and I were in elementary school, there were several instances of men in white vans kidnapping children. Always a white van! Naturally, for the next decade, anytime we saw a white van driving up our street, we would sprint and hide behind a large bush in our front yard until the coast was clear. Understandable at the age of 8; a little weird at 18. Hey—bad reputations die hard,...
  • Say It To My Face

    A friend who shall remain nameless was once broken up with via Facebook message. Self-aware enough to realize she was about to lose her you-know-what, she marched into her supervisor’s office and said, “Someone just broke up with me on Facebook and I need to leave immediately.” Her boss said just one word: “Go!” Now, she and I know this was both out of the kindness of her supervisor’s heart AND...
  • I Won't Grow Up

    Much like Peter Pan, I will never age. This is just a fact. But for the rest of you poor saps, you may as well pick out your future persona now. Are you gonna be a Blanche, a Rose, a Dorothy or a Sophia? The sun is quickly setting on those Golden years. (The only correct response, by the way, is Sophia.) And while some of us may not be there yet, many of our parents are. With people living longer...
  • In Which I Give Thanks for Taylor Swift

    As I sit here at my desk eating a doughnut and stretching my stomach for the impending Thanksgiving feast, I know I have a lot to be thankful for. 1. Dancing With The Stars. Aside from host Tom Bergeron being an absolute delight, I am currently obsessed with dancing partners Val Chmerkovskiy and Janel Parrish—or, as we in the seedy underbelly of competitive ballroom like to call them, Janelskiy....

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