APTly Spoken Blog

  • My Personal Hell

    If Hell exists, it was modeled after a Saturday morning Costco run. Before you even step foot inside, you have to battle a parking lot in which small children have made it their mission to get run over by your car. The entire scene is one giant manslaughter charge waiting to happen. But it doesn’t get any better once you’re inside, forced to dodge parents with shopping karts the size of SUVs....
  • The Price of Love

    In 2001, Jennifer Lopez made it known that her love don’t cost a thing. In 2012, I came to the harsh realization that others’ love does cost a thing. More specifically, $35 per month on Match.com. Keep spinning those lies, J. Lo. When you start paying for love—or someone to simply help you carry in the groceries—you take a good, hard look at yourself. “Is this what 26 looks like,” you ask. ...
  • Pick Out The Problem Child

    Sometimes it’s best to scoop up a significant other right after they’ve ended a horrible relationship.  But what about all the baggage and emotional scars, you ask? Yes, but what about the seriously low bar this ex has set for you, I say. A month in, you start asking if these jeans make you look fat, forget to return texts and “accidentally” spill all of his secrets during a boozy girls’ brunch....
  • No More Mr. Bad Guy

    Breaking up, as they say, is hard to do. No one ever says the right thing. Someone is always crying. And the dumper, despite the very best of intentions, is automatically the bad guy.  Now imagine if you took the subjective element out of it. Instead of spouting out lines that are meant to comfort but that always feel like crap to hear (“It’s not you, it’s me,” “You deserve so much better”, “I...

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