APTly Spoken Blog

  • MISSING: Residents! REWARD: $$, Higher Occupancy, Better Word of Mouth!

    Are your residents vanishing from your community at a rate that makes you consider putting up missing posters? If so, did you know that their disappearance was probably preventable? Before you contact the milk carton company, let me explain. We spend tons of money on training and advertising to get our residents in the door, but once they’re in we change our focus to the next. To me, that’s...
  • Forget the Cheese Plate—Book Julia Roberts

    I used to be obsessed with Julia Roberts. This wasn’t a restraining-order level of obsession and there was no real stalking involved—mainly because I was 13 at the time and could not drive a car—but let’s just say I was intrigued with America’s Sweetheart. So much so that in the space of two years, I accumulated nearly 30 magazines in which Julia graced the cover, read her biography...
  • Creepers Need Not Apply

    In San Francisco I was approached by a gentleman with a rat tail who was distraught after releasing his 16 exotic birds due to an impending eviction. He proceeded to flip through a tattered folder full of stained-glass sketches, the prettiest one being that of a lion. When I boarded the bus, he began drinking from a coffee cup he found on one of the seats. On a 13-hour bus ride from England to...
  • What Women (Really) Want

    I hate the color pink. Aside from a few exceptions—Kimberley, the Pink Power Ranger, a pair of hot pink L.A. Gear high-top shoes I owned as a child and pink Starbursts—I’m just not a fan. I’ve even gone so far as to tell my mother that when the time comes for her to throw me a baby shower—that time being very, very far away—I would rather not receive a sea of pink dresses, hats and blankets. I’...

Pages

Subscribe to Blog Posts