APTly Spoken Blog

  • Creepers Need Not Apply

    In San Francisco I was approached by a gentleman with a rat tail who was distraught after releasing his 16 exotic birds due to an impending eviction. He proceeded to flip through a tattered folder full of stained-glass sketches, the prettiest one being that of a lion. When I boarded the bus, he began drinking from a coffee cup he found on one of the seats. On a 13-hour bus ride from England to...
  • What Women (Really) Want

    I hate the color pink. Aside from a few exceptions—Kimberley, the Pink Power Ranger, a pair of hot pink L.A. Gear high-top shoes I owned as a child and pink Starbursts—I’m just not a fan. I’ve even gone so far as to tell my mother that when the time comes for her to throw me a baby shower—that time being very, very far away—I would rather not receive a sea...
  • Top Tips for Successful Community Landscape Care

    Community appearance – “curb appeal” – is crucial to attracting new tenants and keeping existing ones happy, and property managers understand the obvious: Common areas require regular maintenance, including having the turf mowed regularly. But landscape care doesn’t end with the weekly “mow and blow.” There are other aspects of a quality landscape-...
  • We Might as Well Just Have a Pre-Recorded Message!

    I’m sorry… I don’t need you. No, seriously. If all I needed was someone to get the guest card basics (name, phone number, size & date) when they answer the phone and proceed to recite the same old tired “speech” time and time again… I may as well just have a really great pre-recorded message that at its conclusion asks the caller to leave their name,...

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