APTly Spoken Blog

  • Tears of a Clown

    During a hiking trip through Utah a few years ago, my friends and I went to a diner for lunch. I was hemming and hawing over the pancake options when our waiter arrived at the table. He was just your average server—tall, brown hair, three teardrops tattooed under his right eye. You know, the usual. Deeply distressed that the same man who put three people in the ground would also be delivering my...
  • Under the Big Top

    My younger brother and I were always trying to make a buck. Well, wanting to make a buck. The trying, not as much. Our more ambitious entrepreneurial peers were manning lemonade stands, cutting grass and selling baked goods, but Chris and I wanted to do something a bit more creative. Naturally, we settled on a carnival. Our yard wasn’t humongous, but we were confident we had just enough space for...
  • Happy Little Trees—And Residents

    Three years ago, my friend dressed as Bob Ross for Halloween. Once brushed out, Joe’s curly hair was a dead ringer for the painter’s giant ‘fro, and he spent hours meticulously applying the faux facial hair he still had from an old role in a church play.  The resemblance was uncanny. As the evening progressed, and the drinks continued to flow, Joe’s ‘happy little trees’ were getting happier and...
  • Carol Brady Had the Right Idea

    The best part about having a large family is that you suddenly have an abundance of free labor. Hold on—I’m now getting word that this has not been the case since “The Grapes of Wrath.”  Regardless, I think most people would agree that it’s nice to have people (a young child, your ailing grandmother, etc.) work for you—especially when it’s voluntary. This is certainly the case in the apartment...

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