APTly Spoken Blog

  • One Flew Over the Crazy Ant's Nest

    “Son of a b****, there are maggots!” I can still hear my mom yelling this when I was eight years old. She’d driven my younger brother and me to the gas station to vacuum our grey Oldsmobile, only to lift up the back seats and discover several white maggots, the sight of which produced instantaneous dry heaving.  Courtesy www.reactiongifs.com This was, of course, our fault. You can only drop so...
  • Too-da-loo, Weeds and Weathered Plants!

    In the words of Mrs. Doubtfire, my apartment currently has a “fleeing one’s homeland” motif. As I type this blog, several men are replacing all of the windows in my apartment, as well as the balcony doors. And everything that once resided within a 3- to 5-foot radius of said windows and doors is now piled on the couch. On the bright side, my roommate and I were forced to clear off our balcony,...
  • 2013 Doomsday Prep: 5 Things You Need To Know

    As the end of year approaches, we reflect on our accomplishments of the past 12 months and how disorganized we (may) have become in the process of maintaining a property.  Now is a good time to reorganize to ensure that Jan. 1 is an easy, no panic day. Here are five things that can be done to prepare for the end of 2013 (or, if you are a glass half-full type of person, the beginning of 2014): 1....
  • Even Tough Guys Like Trophies

    My mom has a habit of trying to surprise me with good news by leaving voicemails that sound anything but. “Lauren, call me when you get this” is a personal favorite. She left that voicemail a few years ago, her tone foreboding. Now, if I were a TV daughter, I would have been Full House’s D.J. Tanner—damn near perfect (minus the time she accidentally fell asleep on her boyfriend’s shoulder)—yet I...

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