APTly Spoken Blog

  • Remember Who You Kissed at Midnight?

    Floss daily. Exercise four times a week. These were two of my 2013 New Year’s resolutions. Now that we’re approaching the halfway point, how am I doing so far? 1. Floss daily. In the past five months, I have flossed. Now, if we want to get technical, I have not done so daily. I was just too…tired.  I did, however, get a real wake-up call last week when I was told to “only floss the teeth you want...
  • Hoop! (There It Is)

    I was a 5’7” forward playing against 6’1” girls during my days as a high school basketball player. Call me Mugsy Bogues. Except unlike Mugsy, I was also slow and unable to jump more than three inches off the ground. But what I lacked in height and hang time, I made up for with heart. I was that person who wore t-shirts with sayings like, “Basketball is life—nothing else matters.” While everyone...
  • An Apartment Tail: Fievel Goes to the Dumpster

    I’ve lived in an apartment for over three years now, so naturally I’ve learned a few tricks. Take pest management, for example. A few weeks ago my roommate thrust a chewed-up piece of saltwater taffy in my face, disrupting the quiet time I had requested while watching “Bachelor Pad.” She had discovered the gnawed taffy on the floor of her closet and could only assume one thing: we had a mouse....
  • You Live, You Cut Your Own Bangs, You Learn

    I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. Bangs, for example. I grew up in the late 90s, a decade after Bubble Bangs were in, but I said to hell with fashion and continued to sport them well into Y2K. If that wasn’t bad enough, I attempted to cut said bangs with poultry shears on several occasions. My mom would ask me why there was hair in the bathroom sink and I would shrug, my bangs creeping...

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