APTly Spoken Blog

  • QR Codes: Mystery Dum Dums for the 21st Century

    Cream soda Dum Dum lollipops don’t excite me as they once did—mostly because I am no longer 5 and I want a treat larger than my thumb nail—but when I see a Mystery Flavor floating around in a bag of boring oranges and strawberries, I have to open it. On a good day, my curiosity is rewarded with an exotic taste concoction other than the company’s 16 traditional flavors. German chocolate cake,...
  • When You Are Too Old for Trick-or-Treating

    It was Halloween freshman year of college. Most of my dormmates were stripping down to bits of string and cloth—items that, put together, would only pass for a “costume” at a nudist colony (or college)—and going to a party off-campus. I, on the other hand, was adjusting my bonnet—the final touch of my Martha Washington ensemble—and doing a few calisthenics in preparation for two grueling hours...
  • Grandmothers and Cars: Things You Can Plug Into a Wall

    At the age of six or seven, I watched the movie “The Electric Grandmother.” It was a film that would shake me to my core. The 1982 horror movie masquerading as a “touching” made-for-TV special is about a family of children who learn to cope with the death of their mother in the most heartwarming and logical of ways: they go to a factory and order an electric (read: android freak) grandmother to...
  • Are You Afraid of the Dark?

    When I was a young girl and came home after a night out with my family, I always stepped inside the house, turned on all the lights and immediately shouted, “Any witches, robbers or ghosts, please come out!” As you can imagine, the moments following that desperate plea were terrifying. Had a witch suddenly made her presence known, I don’t know what the next step would have been. The dark—and...

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