APTly Spoken Blog

  • Don't You Forget About Me

    Yesterday I went into the community clubhouse to renew my lease for yet another year—partly because I like my apartment, but also because I’m far too lazy to clean out my car, let alone pack everything up and move. As I was sitting there waiting to sign the papers and eating a caramel chew that I swiped from the communal candy dish, I overheard a young couple rattling off a list of complaints to...
  • Hollywood, Here I Come

    The week I spent studying at Oxford was pure heaven. But it wasn’t because I was re-tracing the steps of John Locke, sitting in the same classroom where T.S. Eliot once penned poetic masterpieces or visiting the pub where Bill Clinton smoked “but didn’t inhale.” No, I couldn’t be bothered with such nonsense. I was too preoccupied with the likes of Mischa Barton. I spotted the former O.C....
  • When Should Apartment Owners/Managers Use a Consultant?

    It has been my experience that managers and owners are unsure how to react when approached with a solution to an issue that they know a little about, but are unsure whether or not they should believe me (a consultant) or just show me the door? If you are like most apartment managers or business owners, the question of using a consultant is not easily answered. Please allow me to try. The main...
  • Creepers Need Not Apply

    In San Francisco I was approached by a gentleman with a rat tail who was distraught after releasing his 16 exotic birds due to an impending eviction. He proceeded to flip through a tattered folder full of stained-glass sketches, the prettiest one being that of a lion. When I boarded the bus, he began drinking from a coffee cup he found on one of the seats. On a 13-hour bus ride from England to...

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