Thursday, October 22, 2015
I recently played Cupid. It didn’t work out so well.
A few weeks ago a friend casually mentioned that he saw a girl performing in an improv show where we take classes, and he thought she was cute. With nothing more to go on than “she has bangs and a darker complexion,” I went to work stalking the hell out of this poor girl. Facebook, Google, improv class email threads; I vowed to find her.
Thursday, October 15, 2015
In seventh grade I was charged with making a mosaic of an Egyptian king for social studies class. Sounds more like art class, but your call, Mrs. Voleri.
I spent the next weekend toiling away with a pair of scissors and a pad of construction paper, carefully arranging and gluing each onto a poster board. By Sunday night, I closely resembled the Hunchback of Notre Dame and my right hand was locked...
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
All of us at one time or another had a job that was, let’s say, less than fulfilling and that we dreamed of quitting. Hand-in-hand with that of course is how we would quit, thus inspiring many fantasies about telling off the boss, co-workers or interminable clients. Hollywood has provided great fodder for this – Jennifer Aniston in Office Space, Bill Murray in Stripes or Tom Cruise in Jerry...
Thursday, October 1, 2015
Some of my friends have very simple screening criteria when searching for a significant other: You must have a bed, with a frame, in a place that does not also house your parents.
Futons, mattresses thrown on the floor, a nightly snack drop-off from mother dearest; you’re in your late 20s, people—get your act together.
While some of my counterparts may not know what a fitted sheet is, I want to...