APTly Spoken Blog

  • Even Tough Guys Like Trophies

    My mom has a habit of trying to surprise me with good news by leaving voicemails that sound anything but. “Lauren, call me when you get this” is a personal favorite. She left that voicemail a few years ago, her tone foreboding. Now, if I were a TV daughter, I would have been Full House’s D.J. Tanner—damn near perfect (minus the time she accidentally fell asleep on her...
  • Run Like a Dog

    My best friend, Bridget, ran the ING New York City Marathon last month. That’s 26.2 miles—which, if I’m being honest, sounds like a long way to drive, let alone run. My body isn’t built for such things. But just because my legs aren’t capable of running for an unnaturally long period of time doesn’t mean I’m not capable of cheering on others for four...
  • Remember (We Lost) the Alamo

    I made my first trip to Texas a few years ago. I was in Dallas for a conference and my roommate met me afterward for a little road trip.  After passing what seemed like 15 different dead animals on the side of the highway—I swear I saw an ocelot among the roadkill—Steph and I arrived in San Antonio. First order of business: margaritas and Mexican goods. We made our way to a...
  • Oh Hair No!

    It’s always awkward when someone gets a haircut. It seems rude not to acknowledge it, so you have to start by asking the obvious: “Hey, did you get a haircut?!” When they say yes, there’s only one appropriate response: “It looks great!” It could be the ugliest haircut in the world—a mullet or a rat tail or a Kate Gosselin—but you certainly can...

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