Thursday, September 13, 2012
One of the best things about my apartment is its proximity to the things that mean the most to me in life—namely, a grocery store within running distance where I can stop by for some free samples of cheese and pie after a strenuous jog and a Redbox where I can rent “Think Like a Man” for $1.27 (which turns into $5 when I forget to return it for four days). And let’s not forget McDonald’s,...
Thursday, September 6, 2012
It’s September 6 and I still don’t have a Halloween costume. I’m entering panic mode.
You see, I really enjoy dressing up each year, and put a great deal of time, effort, and money into pulling off the perfect costume. Unfortunately, this means I’ve set the bar very high.
Last year, for example, I had two costumes. For the first—unveiled in New York City the weekend of Halloween—I was the...
Thursday, August 30, 2012
The most exciting part about getting a school locker was decorating the inside. It was your chance to say, “Hey world—this is me.”
In middle school, “me” was someone who loved Jonathan Taylor Thomas. J.T.T. was adorable, but he also had an edge. He was the only intelligent son on “Home Improvement” and had the voice of an angel on “The Lion King” soundtrack. Homeboy’s got pipes.
J.T.T. was, in...
Thursday, August 23, 2012
I’ve lived in an apartment for over three years now, so naturally I’ve learned a few tricks.
Take pest management, for example. A few weeks ago my roommate thrust a chewed-up piece of saltwater taffy in my face, disrupting the quiet time I had requested while watching “Bachelor Pad.” She had discovered the gnawed taffy on the floor of her closet and could only assume one thing: we had a mouse....