APTly Spoken Blog

  • When the Dog Bites, When the Bee Stings

    Before Oprah went off the air to spend more time with her invisible boyfriend, Stedman, the talk-show queen had an annual “Favorite Things” segment. During this holiday special, Oprah channeled her inner Maria von Trapp and presented audience members with her favorite goodies from the past 12 months, as well as trendy items for the coming year. Here at units Magazine, we don’t have the budget to...
  • Pull Up To the Next Window, Please

    I’m a Millennial with a B.A. in English. Would you like fries with that? I was taught that a college degree was necessary if I wanted a good job—and then the Great Recession hit and I didn’t know if I could even get a position manning the deep fryer. I may as well have majored in basket weaving. At least that’s a trade. Fortunately—and surprisingly—my post-collegiate career path has been a good...
  • Whistle While You Work—And Doodle and Make Tin-Foil Flowers, Too

    I don’t want to brag, but I was the belle of the ball at my hometown pizzeria in suburban Maryland. During my three months there as a waitress, a few of the dish washers had a bit of a crush on me. I always had bread crumbs in my hair and permanently smelled like garlic, so this doesn’t surprise me. Of all my prospective suitors, Lucio was my favorite. He spent a good portion of his time making...
  • Would You Like Fries (and a Trash Can) With That?

    Several years ago my Mom and I were each enjoying a McDonalds ice cream cone from the comfort of our Windstar mini-van when a car full of teenage boys pulled up next to us in the parking lot. A few moments later, the guy in the passenger seat rolled down his window and threw an empty cheeseburger container on the ground. “Excuse me,” Mom immediately said, pointing to the ground, “but I think...

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