APTly Spoken Blog

  • Keep Calm and Stop With the Duck Face

    Here are some things I never need to see on Instagram ever again. Like, ever. 1. The meal your significant other cooked for you. As if I’m not already hyper-aware that I am standing over the kitchen sink, alone, eating a can of tuna—the only thing distinguishing me from a cat being that I am fully upright—now I have to see a filtered snapshot of the mushroom risotto your boo made. (It’s always...
  • I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream for Ice Cream

    I, like most kids, was obsessed with the ice cream truck. Whenever my brother and I heard that classic melody nearby, we’d run upstairs and grab a handful of coins from our Dad’s dresser. Technically stealing, but I see it as borrowing. And I’ve repaid him in blog mentions, so we’re even. The ice cream was obviously a high point, but I was also in love with this gum you could buy that had a...
  • Show Us Your Curbs

    I was taught to never judge a book by its cover. I was also taught that the customer is always right and if a boy makes fun of you, he likes you. A lot of lies straight to my face. If a customer is clipping her elderly husband’s fingernails while you are taking their food order at a pizzeria, they are not right. And news flash, when a boy ties part of your jacket to your desk so that when you get...
  • Papa-paparazzi

    Be cool. Just be COOL. Easier said than done when Bill Rancic is calling your office... But let me take a step back. I’ve always had what some might describe as paparazzi tendencies. I get very star-struck when I see or talk to anyone who has been on TV for upwards of two minutes and my body simply shuts down.  This first occurred in high school when my mom and I spotted Tom Cavanaugh, star of...

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