APTly Spoken Blog

  • Dipping My Toes—and Phone—In the 21st Century

    I went kayaking with a few friends the day it reached 106 degrees in Washington, D.C. (mistake No. 1). As I awkwardly climbed into my boat with the grace of a baby fawn learning how to use its legs, the 12-year-old boy by the docks assured me my possessions would be safe—and dry—in a spot in back of the kayak. He seemed wise and weathered beyond his years, so I trusted him (mistake No. 2)....
  • Animal House

    Last year, my roommate and I agreed that should one of us unexpectedly get run over by a bus or killed in a kitchen fire because someone (Stephanie) forgot to unplug the George Foreman grill, the survivor would immediately destroy a box containing all of their friend’s most embarrassing, private and objectionable personal items.   That’s not to say I’m hiding a Polaroid of an indecent encounter...
  • Liar, Liar

    In fifth grade I failed a math test. I was the girl who got straight A’s, never talked and spent the first day of summer vacation helping the librarian organize her book shelves, so for me, this minor hiccup felt like an absolute disaster.   I had to get my parents to sign the test, but I was too afraid to show it to them so I forged my mom’s signature. I thought I had done a convincing job—even...
  • Summer Lovin'...Had Me A Blast

    Every summer I write down a list of things I can’t wait to do. Go to an amusement park, watch outdoor movies, save enough money to get an invasive procedure that will shut off my sweat glands—everything that makes this a truly special time of year. But my favorite thing is going to the beach. Unfortunately, I always end up misjudging a wave, which breaks too early and sends me somersaulting...

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