APTly Spoken Blog

  • Goldilocks and the Three Candies

    In fifth grade I convinced my teacher to let me skip a few hours of class each week to work on my own “book” project with an enrichment teacher. There seemed to be an unspoken understanding that I would never learn my multiplication tables—when it came to math, this child was left behind. So, why not sharpen the creativity I did possess. So, being the good girl that I was, I toiled away in that...
  • When the Dog Bites, When the Bee Stings

    Before Oprah went off the air to spend more time with her invisible boyfriend, Stedman, the talk-show queen had an annual “Favorite Things” segment. During this holiday special, Oprah channeled her inner Maria von Trapp and presented audience members with her favorite goodies from the past 12 months, as well as trendy items for the coming year. Here at units Magazine, we don’t have the budget to...
  • Pull Up To the Next Window, Please

    I’m a Millennial with a B.A. in English. Would you like fries with that? I was taught that a college degree was necessary if I wanted a good job—and then the Great Recession hit and I didn’t know if I could even get a position manning the deep fryer. I may as well have majored in basket weaving. At least that’s a trade. Fortunately—and surprisingly—my post-collegiate career path has been a good...
  • Whistle While You Work—And Doodle and Make Tin-Foil Flowers, Too

    I don’t want to brag, but I was the belle of the ball at my hometown pizzeria in suburban Maryland. During my three months there as a waitress, a few of the dish washers had a bit of a crush on me. I always had bread crumbs in my hair and permanently smelled like garlic, so this doesn’t surprise me. Of all my prospective suitors, Lucio was my favorite. He spent a good portion of his time making...

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