APTly Spoken Blog

  • Tis’ the Season to Be Inappropriate

    A holiday party is a hot mess. Whether it’s a gathering with friends or family, such celebrations seem to involve more beer than cheer; more inappropriate passes than clinked glasses. The single guys and gals become painfully aware of just how alone they truly are—and, if you’re me, search the premises for a sprig of mistletoe, the likes of which apparently only exists in Sandra Bullock movies...
  • Ms. Frizzle—Unsung Hero to Right-Brainers Nationwide

    When my brain was being assembled, a lot of attention was paid to my right side. Someone decided to take a snooze, however, when it came to the left. Now, that’s not to say that part of my noggin is completely hollow. I’d like to think I have a talent for words, for example. Otherwise, I’m not sure why I’m getting paid for this job. I am still getting paid, right? Science and math, on the other...
  • Breathe In, Breathe Out, Buy Bubble Wrap

    My last job was very stressful. During my 13-month stint at this previous company, I was asked to move cubicles three times. I had approximately 950 post cards, figurines and pieces of memorabilia displayed in my work space, so this was a logistical nightmare. The amount of boxes and bubble wrap required would make your head spin. After the first move, I constantly felt on edge, never knowing...
  • Must Love Dogs—Minus the Doo-Doo

    It's no secret that I don't love dogs. I don't hate them, either—I just don't love them. In modern American society, this means I'm a monster—someone sandwiched right between people who dislike children and hate rainbows in levels of evilness.I understand that dogs are man's best friend (if you can't find a human best friend), provide companionship and never judge you. I also understand that...

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