Thursday, November 1, 2012
When my brain was being assembled, a lot of attention was paid to my right side. Someone decided to take a snooze, however, when it came to the left.
Now, that’s not to say that part of my noggin is completely hollow. I’d like to think I have a talent for words, for example. Otherwise, I’m not sure why I’m getting paid for this job. I am still getting paid, right?
Science and math, on the other...
Thursday, October 25, 2012
My last job was very stressful.
During my 13-month stint at this previous company, I was asked to move cubicles three times. I had approximately 950 post cards, figurines and pieces of memorabilia displayed in my work space, so this was a logistical nightmare. The amount of boxes and bubble wrap required would make your head spin.
After the first move, I constantly felt on edge, never knowing...
Thursday, October 18, 2012
It's no secret that I don't love dogs. I don't hate them, either—I just don't love them. In modern American society, this means I'm a monster—someone sandwiched right between people who dislike children and hate rainbows in levels of evilness.I understand that dogs are man's best friend (if you can't find a human best friend), provide companionship and never judge you. I also understand that...
Friday, October 12, 2012
Last month I woke up in the middle of the night in sheer panic. A mouse was sitting in my hand.
I sat up and launched the rodent across the room before jumping out of bed, turning on the lights, and frantically searching my sheets for additional mice.
And then I looked around, rubbed my eyes and realized that the furry thing I felt in my hand—the thing I had just violently thrown against the...