APTly Spoken Blog

  • All Hail Hipsters

      I’m a risk-taker. Fashion forward. Ahead of the times. For example, I wore oversized glasses in middle school, way before all the hipsters started doing it in Brooklyn. Sure, fellow classmates were probably making fun of me behind my back, but no matter—I was cool and I knew it. Now every hipster worth his organic salt is copying 12-year-old me. I also rocked skinny jeans before skinny jeans...
  • Darwin Didn’t Do His Homework

    Sometimes I wonder just how much mankind has actually evolved.  Take men, for example. Thirty-thousand years ago, Neanderthal dudes were beating large pieces of meat against cave walls, grunting commands to their lady friends and sharpening tools against their thick skulls. I don’t know if you’ve looked around lately, but today’s male species isn’t doing much better. Last week I saw a guy trying...
  • Catching the Apartment Love Bug

    In case the hordes of men having panic attacks in the card aisle of CVS hasn’t tipped you off, today is Valentine’s Day. This cruel holiday certainly makes us all ponder a lot of things. Why, for example, do candy hearts taste like chalk dust? Why do we still eat 40 of them? Why can’t we meet that special someone while sitting on our respective couches in pajamas? We also stop to think about what...
  • A Picture Says 1,000 (Sometimes Cringe-Worthy) Words

    I once came home to find my mom and brother downstairs, tears rolling down their faces. “Why are you crying?!” I asked, concerned that someone had died or my brother was deemed unfit for college after neglecting to leave a space between his first and last name on an SAT Scantron form (true story). “Because we are laughing so hard,” Chris explained. Then he showed me the object in Mom’s hand, the...

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