APTly Spoken Blog

  • Don't Cry At Work (And Other Lessons)

    I have very few complaints about my first job out of college. But if I had to do it all again, I wish someone had given me the following advice: 1. Find an office with more men. If you’re looking to kill two birds with one stone—earning your keep in society while also meeting someone who will pay for your movie tickets—you should probably count up the number of men at your prospective place of...
  • Permission To Take Off

    When I was working at a large retail store one summer during college (think red bull’s-eye), one of my supervisors told me everything from her pants size (12) to the dirty details of her messy divorce. Apparently I have a face that says, “tell me everything.”  “Susan,” on the other hand, had an ex-husband whose face said “don’t tell me anything.” While I knew her entire life history, Susan knew...
  • My Pants Are On Fire

    I’m a horrible liar. It’s not so much that I have a problem with the lie itself, but it’s the post-lie paranoia that really destroys me. I was a ridiculously good child/teenager—seriously Mom, you had it so good—but the worst lie I can think of occurred about six years ago. I was 20, had just gotten my license a month prior and wanted to drive from Maryland to Connecticut to visit my friend. I...
  • We're Gonna Party Like It's 1993

    Twenty years ago, I was six. Naturally, a lot has changed since then. 1. I no longer secretly cut my bangs in the bathroom and then lie when my Mom asks why there is hair in the sink. Today, I do it out in the open with poultry shears. And because I am my own boss, I don’t have to lie to anyone. 2. Jell-O Pudding Pops have lost their allure. When I was six, pudding pops were pretty much the most...

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