Wednesday, October 9, 2013
A few years ago I walked into the kitchen to find my old roommate shoving an entire tray of uneaten lasagna down the garbage disposal.
“What the hell are you doing?” I asked, as she repeatedly stabbed the noodles with a fork to dislodge them from the container.
“This is what a garbage disposal is for,” she confidently explained.
Incorrect. So incorrect, in fact, that our disposal broke two...
Thursday, October 3, 2013
If I had to make a life list of the things I most despise, making small talk would fall just below people leaving uneaten desserts at restaurants and glitter (it never goes away).
Consider the conversation required in an elevator. Whether it’s a stranger or my best friend, the second those doors shut and I have to decide whether to look directly at them or speak to them through their reflection...
Thursday, September 26, 2013
My younger brother and I were always trying to make a buck. Well, wanting to make a buck. The trying, not as much.
Our more ambitious entrepreneurial peers were manning lemonade stands, cutting grass and selling baked goods, but Chris and I wanted to do something a bit more creative.
Naturally, we settled on a carnival.
Our yard wasn’t humongous, but we were confident we had just enough space for...
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Three years ago, my friend dressed as Bob Ross for Halloween. Once brushed out, Joe’s curly hair was a dead ringer for the painter’s giant ‘fro, and he spent hours meticulously applying the faux facial hair he still had from an old role in a church play.
The resemblance was uncanny.
As the evening progressed, and the drinks continued to flow, Joe’s ‘happy little trees’ were getting happier and...