APTly Spoken Blog

  • Carol Brady Had the Right Idea

    The best part about having a large family is that you suddenly have an abundance of free labor. Hold on—I’m now getting word that this has not been the case since “The Grapes of Wrath.”  Regardless, I think most people would agree that it’s nice to have people (a young child, your ailing grandmother, etc.) work for you—especially when it’s voluntary. This is certainly the case in the apartment...
  • Like a Kid In a Candy Store

    Sometimes I blackout when I eat. I mean, not actually blackout—but it feels very similar. I go into a sort of food coma when presented with a table full of free goodies, eating one after the other in assembly line fashion: move hand to candy, un-wrap candy, put in mouth, repeat. I would have made a stellar Lucy Ricardo. I would also be 800 pounds if I lived in one of Mark Tarses’ Berkeley, Calif...
  • Whatcha Gonna Do When They Come For You?

    I am one of those people who will only love my own children. (Fingers crossed I even have an affinity for them.) I certainly think kids are cute, and I wish I were great with those little rugrats, but I just don’t seem to have the patience for them. Truth be told, I’d rather be talking to adults. This, along with my apathy (to put it kindly) for dogs, makes me a terrible, terrible person—so no...
  • (Units) Video Killed The Radio Star

    Although we prefer cash, Frank Mauck and I will also accept checks and money orders. You see, this month marks the 1st Anniversary of our monthly "units in a Minute" video series. I guess time flies when you’re an amateur director. Over the course of 12 months, we’ve certainly learned a lot of valuable lessons. I know I have. For example, I’ve learned that if I have an iced coffee 30 minutes...

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