APTly Spoken Blog

  • Oh Hair No!

    It’s always awkward when someone gets a haircut. It seems rude not to acknowledge it, so you have to start by asking the obvious: “Hey, did you get a haircut?!” When they say yes, there’s only one appropriate response: “It looks great!” It could be the ugliest haircut in the world—a mullet or a rat tail or a Kate Gosselin—but you certainly can’t say so.  You may even find said haircut socially...
  • You’re Gonna Hear Me Roar

    Thanksgiving is the Jello salad in the cornucopia of holidays—straight up overlooked. As soon as Halloween is over, everyone is bombarded with Santas and Christmas trees and feelings of panic over personal finances and perpetual loneliness. Maize and belt-buckle shoes never get any respect! So before I succumb to the holiday madness and begin watching “While You Were Sleeping” on repeat—...
  • Get Your Hands Off Me

    Happy Halloween everyone! This year I decided to dress up as a multifamily housing professional. I’m wearing too many hats. Next year I’ll be a comedian. A few weeks ago I kicked off my Halloween festivities with a trip to Pennhurst Haunted Asylum outside of Philadelphia. A three-year tradition with my younger brother and cousin, the attraction includes two haunted houses, a ghost walk and a...
  • Good Gourd, I Love This Season

    I live for the month of October.  I was born on the 7th, so I guess this quite literally is the case. But I also live for it in a more figurative manner—I just love everything about this season. Autumn on the East Coast is glorious; the leaves are brilliant shades of red, orange and yellow, the air is crisp and I get to dress in a hideous costume that, if I may brag for a moment, inevitably wins...

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